As digital agencies make their first creative steps into another promising year of hard work, online/offline drama and sizzling brainstorms, here’s a fictional list of wildly unapologetic resolutions every social media marketer probably wishes to keep for the next 12 months.
Summon clients for monthly Social Media 101 bootcamps. Given the tragic extent to which some post-Internet humans are misinformed about fundamental social media schemes, immediate action shall be taken this year in the form of monthly client trainings whereby attendees are gently briefed on basic online truths, ranging from the proper way to use hashtags to the difference between post impressions and reach.
Deactivate their Facebook account. How many times have you sincerely wondered what it’d be like to lead a Facebook-free life? To liberate from the stress of never-ending notifications? To delete Pages Manager off your phone? To cut ties with the tyranny of Facebook marketing? One tiny button in your Facebook settings is all it takes to restore peace to your existence and balance to your psychological functions.
Correct every single typo they come across online. Proper spelling/grammar is a noble pursuit that clearly not everyone on the Internet has been gifted with, and this year could be the right time to fix that. To ensure the success of your mission, you ought to start inhaling more thesaurus than ever before. So, roll up your sleeves, get down to work and leave no error unattended!
Indulge on strongly-worded emails. The days of tolerating flagrant email offenses from clients, coworkers and/or random strangers are officially gone. Make it a point to enunciate your deep-seated feelings without inhibition in every email that goes out of your inbox from now on. In other words, wave goodbye to careful re-wording and say hello to impulsive replying instead!
Lay non-clickable CTAs to rest once and for all. Your only call to action (CTA) this year is to put a definitive end to the obsolete practice of adding a worded call to action to absolutely everything. Traditional action verbs have clearly lost their historical significance with the advent of clickable Facebook CTAs and Instagram action buttons and therefore you absolutely do not need such redundancy in your posts (or life for that matter).
Cut down on filler posts. If a clueless client insists on publishing three posts per day to their Facebook page in 2018 but only has like $10 to spare on sponsoring content, then you should either lecture them once and for all on the way social media works or terminate your professional relationship. And since we’re on the topic of filler posts, nobody cares about Wild Berries Day et al., so you might as well stop making useless greetings about these stuff.
Drown their phone into the ocean. The last step in your 2018 healing journey is to ultimately throw away your phone, laptop and all other electronic devices, quit your job and fully surrender to the peacefulness of a perfectly disconnected existence. Cheers to the new you!